Britney Spears or Spear Britney

Manufactured bands have brought us some fab solo acts in the way of Mr Keating, and Robbie. Where would the screaming lady friendies be with out them? J17 magazine.The truth is as considerable as they arent screaming and waving their under go against anywhere near me I dont honestly have a problem with teeny-boppers. Of course I enjoy the periodical joke about some larger than living band with a talent count of minus 50 scarcely they dont aggravate me as such(prenominal) you might return. Ignorance is bliss But if I HAD to rant about anything it would be about manufacture and their music. And so to progress the rant really good I might as well exaggerate some of my views and thoughts to make me appear like a true cynic and hater of all that is pop.So I sit down in my room staring at my CD collection, tossing away the couple that dont do me proud. So with my Ricky Martin and Spice Girls album on one side (carefully self-possessed on the desk, teetering dangerously over the b in) and my System Of A Down and Blink 182 on the other I sat down to write this article.OK. Ever stop to think about how much hormonally-charged energy you put into the quick quips and biting banter? Your life would be considerably more than productive if you took some, whats that word again, oh thats it action. Im not suggesting that you cauterise some fresh teeny-boppers. There are laws against it. Yep even in that state of the US. But if youre so fed up of manufactured bands and this article awakes the rebel in you, then I say Go Forth, join a band and top the charts OK fine by chance its not that easy precisely its more productive than bitchin about the manufactured lot with your mates.In this world of MTV soundbites (we are not worthy) and insanely uncreative lyrics, the manufactured band and the manufactured singer fly the coop rampant They are people who are pooled together, not because they excel musically, provided because their looks and personality can be pigeon-h oled to fit a type cute, funny, naughty, or sexy. Its further that simple. Musical passion is generally becoming a fading art, with most people in it for nothing more than the funds and the quick-fix of fame. Fame, you see, very rarely comes from the forte of the music.A few years ago, Britney Spears exploded onto the scene. Her virginal yet strangely flirty lyrics had paedophiles crossways the world intrigued. Here was a 16 year old daughter who loved Jesus Christ, sung about being hit and claimed to be a virgin. It was all sofan-bl**dy-tastic.Britney went on to sell lots of records, preach Satans teachings and get to wear increasingly skimpy outfits in her music videos. With this much success, the clones were bound to follow. And, lo and behold, they did. Christina Aguilera was the first to jump on the pink-coated bandwagon, and one of many to ride Carson Dalys gear-stick to TRL glory. The girl could certainly sing, but she was the blondest Hispanic in history, and the most annoying anorexic this side of Ally McBeal. They became more and more annoying. Is that humanly possible? I hear you say but as I say if in doubt turn to the merry U S of A. Enter Mandy Moore. Moore was about 12 and could barely even skreak well. She sang a song about missing a guy like candy, which is just plain sad. Nobody misses anyone like candy. I wonderment what Id miss my pin-ups like after my brains are gobbled by the undead teeny boppers. Mmmm..The manufactured craze is continuing as I write this dread-filled article. Oily men across the industry are lining their pockets and making an absolute mint from girls who dream about cute guys and Dawson. Why is it so big? Well its not because its so cutting edge. Its because girls are insecure. And popular culture capitalises on that. Girls think maybe if I go out and buy that new lipstick, Ill fit in. Or maybe if I watch this show or listen to that music, Ill be popular. I mean, look somewhat you now (thats right just blatantl y stare at them), every one of these girls is incredibly insecure. You cant even speak your mind anymore without stomping on somebodys feelings. You make a Five break up joke and the teeny-boppers have a fit. You make a Two Pac (deceased) joke and the Hip-Hop posse kindly raise their middle finger. And any comments of Marilyn Mansons femininity impart have Satanists swarming around threatenin to send the forces of evil to your abode.In the States, songs about coming on over and getting hit in the face are all the rage. In Britain, the purport is love. If youre ever making a boyband, be sure they sing songs about love and sex. If youre planning on making a girl group, make sure they sing songs about love and sex. Really its not that hard. The dudes on Popstars make it look so hard. However, if you plan on plucking an underage girl from school (and there are laws against it) in the hopes that youll create the next Britney, make sure she sings songs about genies in bottles and being unvirginised.As I was surfin the wonderful light up and followin the proverbial yellow brick road to all that is fake(with a capital F ladies and gentlemen) I discovered that Britain is just as bad as the States in damage of manufactured bands. Theres a deep-seated history involved in the art of making boybands. In the seventies, the Bay City Rollers were all the rage. Essentially, they were ugly Scottish dudes who wore plaid costumes (kilt-like but not quite) and sang really badly (they have sound clips on the site.sayin they sing badly is like saying o the safe is a bit chilly). But the teenyboppers loved them, simply because the machine trained them to love them. Its like that mind-washing scene in A Clockwork Orange. Impressionable kids are force-fed a cocktail of bland music, and few of them have the in narrateectual tools or inquisitive nature, and think to themselves erwhy. Well, its very simple. These guys make money, and the formula is easy to reproduce. And people will b uy anything if its well-packaged.Sheep. BAAAABest not to think about it too much. It hurts my b r a i n Fact is, these bands make great money for their producers, all by living up to a fallacious image. Its easy money, and while the fat cats grow obese, were the ones who are losing out. Because when genuinely talented performers fail to rally a niche in the busy marketplace, well be overcome with these beasts.Ill be honest, though. I like a wide range of music. any(prenominal)times Ill be short-winded away (OK, hooked) by a boyband tune or maybe Ill even shock myself and buy the track(id like to stress that this is not a shit occurrence, and any tracks I do waste my money on tend to be incinerated by some Satanist folk that hang around these parts.)OK, allow me be completely honest I prefer rock/punk music to virtually any other type of music (yes, even opera). Now, I like a lot of respected artists as well and I think I have fairly good taste when it comes to rating music, but theres something alluring about Pop. Im not saying the music is necessarily good, but it is very effective. I realise that its manufactured, that its sugary and the song lyrics are dud, but tell me you yourself havent caught the Pop bug at some point. These songs linger in your mind, even more so than Papa Roach screaming about how much life sucks and how we should all die. Not dissin PRoach or anythingCoby, Dude, You RuleThat strange mixture of superficial positivity and cynical marketing works for some. Not me, but it does for someahh an shipwreck survivor yet again. But while I wont admit too vehemently that I enjoy cheesy pop ballads, Id like to celebrate some of the manufactured artists here in this article where no-one in real life will ever know.Our group up for discussion isWestlife, or using their pronunciation, Westloife.Flying without flyEverybodys looking for a somethingOne thing that makes it all completeYoull find it in the strangest placesPlaces you never knew it co uld beSome find it in the face of their childrenSome find it in their lovers eyesWho can deny the joy it bringsWhen youve found that special thingYoure flying without wingsThis is Westlifes entry into the we condone drug wont halls of chart history. I know that Im only flying without wings after ten too many beers (so thats 10 beers in total yea). Its obvious that these subvert young men are either promoting illegal substances (S club Seven wannabes) or singing about love. Whichever way you look at it, the song is fairly damn kooky. All right, its sweet and touching. This sucks.And to conclude.o wait someones at the door. Abruptly stands taping Ricky and Spice-eys into the bin. Looks out windowAnd now Ive been called away by a knock at my door. And the person knocking is a God-lover telling me I need the light of God. Ive been thinkingGod is a lot like a boyband. race go on about him 24/7 and plaster his posters on their bedrooms, but has he ever written his own tracks?